Why Your Unhappiness is Setting You Back

Please forgive me for making this a very emotional type of post, I've been wanting to write this because all though I have clients that I train physically believe it or not I deal with a lot of emotions from different clients (i.e unhappy with themselves although making progress, feel they just can't progress anymore, etc.)

Did you know that when you feel depressed, sad, mad, etc. your body responds back to you by giving you headaches, loss of appetite, lack of sleep, increasing appetite for no reason, there is so much that happens to your body when you have these feelings.

This is setting you back. Don't deny it. Everyone responds differently to their emotions but one of the biggest struggles I've noticed and this is mainly in my female clients is when they are unhappy, stressed or depressed they binge eat. They turn to food for comfort. Have you ever experienced this? and why does this happen to you? as in why does food all of a sudden take over your moment and you just give in? that's because it's the alternative way of your brain saying "let me just forget about whatever I'm feeling and eat" but after your eat the feelings come back but harder, now your guilty that you ate what you should have and the pain you initially were feeling is still there on top of your guilt for binge eating. It's a vicious cycle. It needs to stop. I'm hoping I can help you or at least advise you and lead you the way. Non the less I want to help you find happiness and balance. Your unhappiness is setting you back, it makes you give up from time to time and it's too much negativity in your body its time to let go.

Please understand that today you need to start letting go of what is making you unhappy, letting go hurts. It really does. Trust me I've practiced everything I'm about to list for you that worked for me. I don't ever preach what I don't practice. Today let go of people that bring you negativity even if you love them (maybe be more distant with that person if you can't really 'leave' them), let go of work that is taking over your life but your not happy about it.

Here is my advice:

1. Stop Dieting- the healthy way of eating is F O R E V E R, you either accept it or you don't. When you choose to accept you can learn to incorporate fun treats when the time is right and it will be no big deal because you have a 90% healthy diet.

2. Stress Less- creating too much stress causes belly fat, google it, it really does.

3. Don't Eliminate Food- eliminate food just makes you want it 10x more, that's bad! Don't do it just be mindful and know that you should reduce how much you consume food items because it's for your own health.

4.  Sleep More- sleeping bring recovery and recharges you, you don't want to feel worn day day in and day out especially those who train daily

5. Write It Down- write down what's bothering you, put it on paper, look at it, understand it, write down how you will fix it. When it's written down it's in your face and it's real rather than just a thought that will go away and come back.

6. Be Proud- every time you do something good or make progress in your training and goals acknowledge yourself and share it with others, others can't be happy for you unless you share it. Don't succeed in something and feel it's not enough, you are enough you need to be proud of every good thing you do for yourself. Again eliminate those who are never proud of you (who needs those people anyway!)

7. Surround Yourself With Positive People-  Find those who have similar interest like you, for me it's my fitness friends we just understand each other and I wouldn't have it any other way.

8. Love Yourself- no one else will love you if you don't love yourself first. So if your one of those looking for love you won't find it, it will just come when you stop looking.

Toxins in the body are not just what we consume but also about the negative ways of living, thinking and believing. When your mental state begins to change so will your body. Are you ready to be happy with yourself?

Follow me on Instagram @MoniqueLemus

Operation: Lean Down (UPDATE)

FIRST!! Are you following me on Instagram yet?..you should I answer much more questions there

@MoniqueLemus

Moving on.....

Back in February I wrote a post about leaning down a bit, my main goals were to:

1. not exceed more than 2-3x cardio intervals per week.
2. make weight training more intense
3. reduce intake a bit
4. treat myself to a nice free meal once a week
5. stretch and do yoga

It's now May (where does the time go!) and I want to fill you in and I also want to know how your doing? how can I help as well?

I want to put it out there, my body likes to be fat its just the way it is. If I eat more than I should in a good course of a week I get noticeably thicker when I'm naked in the mirror and I would say if I kept eating more than I should YOU would notice it probably in about a month! I'm a big believe that old fat cells well....like to be fat! damn them! Therefore no matter how hard I train or how much cardio I would do my body will fight me it takes the most perfect diet to get me where I want to be hence the reason why YOU should never compare yourself to your friend who can eat like shit and simply go to the gym daily and look fantastic, get over it, your genetics dont work that way so work with what you got ok?

Here is a calorie calculator that I use it really decent and definitely a baseline of where you should start IIFYM.com The reason why I share this one is because its the only one that was pretty on point with my calculations. I know how much I can eat to make me fat and I know how much I can eat to keep me maintained and I know how much I can eat to get me ready to the stage.

This is me today....I was not planning on sharing this but I sent it to a friend of mine and I got a very nice compliment that my progress was looking great and I think sometimes it takes someone else's eyes to put you in your place, I'm really hard on myself and like I told you in my last post sometimes you have to be happy where your at because it's always better than your past. So thank you to my lovely friend for filling me with self esteem...you know who you are... ;) xoxo

Here is what I've done so far:

1. I've reduced my calorie intake by not that much really ~300

2. I still don't do cardio like I had planned on my cardio comes from Kickboxing at TotalMMA studios which I attend ~1-2x/week. Sometimes I don't have time to go at all with school, clients, and my day job.

3. Instead of cardio I've decreased my rest time during weight training to almost as close to non as possible I'm constantly moving; burpees in between sets, skip rope, jump squats, etc.

4. I treat myself 1x/per week sometimes 2 just depends how hard my cravings are.

5. I still don't stretch or do yoga I'm horrible I really should but I can't seem to find it in me...sigh

My abs aren't as visible as before but I feel really good. I feel strong in training and my main focus right now are my squats I love them it's all I want to do! My thighs have gotten significantly bigger and my glutes well I don't know... I'll let you decide, they could be more defined but they definitely make me feel strong.

How are you doing?!!.....fill me in....

Take It From Me Part II

I told you I'd add on to my last post Take It From Me, I really wanted the questions I had asked you to sink in. I'm answering the questions I asked you I hope you can find balance like I did after this...

If you say yes to any of these you need to re-think what being healthy and being fit for life really means to you:

1. Do you not go out to eat with friends and family because you are afraid there won't be any options for you (or you've checked the menu prior and know there aren't any)? I did this for about a good year it was mostly the year I was competing after my comp then going into my second comp it just became so difficult all I ever thought to myself was "is this the life they live? will it always be this way? will I ever be normal?" I knew there had to be a better way of life to make it work. The #1 thing that helped me overcome this is there is ALWAYS options no one shoves food down your throat it's very easy to say no to the bread basket if you CHOOSE not to eat it and it's very easy to order a substitute meal all restaurants always accommodate so don't blame that there wasn't anything for you on the menu as to why you ate crap. 


2. Do you carry a Tupperware with a full on meal in your bag or car anytime you go somewhere because your so afraid you will be left hungry or no options to food for you 'diet'? I never really carried Tupperware with me at all times BUT I did always pack my lunch and I was too scared to eat out what I learned in the process was ITS OK TO BE LEFT A LITTLE HUNGRY YOU WONT DIE! I was afraid of hunger to me I thought if I was hungry I would for sure eat a bad meal because I was starving but I practiced patience with myself and fast forward 2 years later being left hungry never hurt me. I never died from it either. I'll eat a meal when I get to it period no need to carry a huge lunch pale.


3. Do you train more than 2 hours per day thinking it will get you results sooner? First I would like to say that I truly do love cardio I like my mind wondering off thinking about all kinds of things, some of my best thoughts come when I'm doing cardio the slow and steady kind but for a year a half even if I was too tired to do cardio I made myself because I just thought I had to and I thought it was the only way I could maintain my look and that is NOT HEALTHY why? because if your body is exhausted than listen to it, trust me you will know the difference between being body tired or being damn lazy. For a good year and half I did cardio in the morning ~45min then at night I weight trained followed by ~30min more cardio I lived in the gym. I researched and researched and finally agreed that this was not good for me because some of my symptoms were; loss of sleep, hard staying asleep, waking up in the middle of the night, always cold, loss of sexual desire, stress. I gradually lowered by removing the morning cardio session and I told myself "you only get to train once a day until you fix your symptoms" I did after I removed the excess cardio therefore had more energy for intense weight training and now I'll train for a max 1hr 15min and sometimes when I feel like it I'll go to kick box at night because to me its fun and it doesn't stress me out because I know I don't have to be there.


4. Do you eat bad, feel guilty, then over exercise to make up for it? I'm not going to lie I fell victim of this for a good year after my comp it sucked I felt I never deserved a treat meal I mean I NEVER EVER deserved it. When I finally realized that nothing really ever happened to me or my body composition it was all in my head it was mere guilt, so now I allow myself 1 treat meal per week I need it actually it keeps me going and you should incorporate this too.5. Do you feel eating one bad meal makes you fat overnight? let me just tell you it does not you can not get fat overnight, if you did eat a bad meal you may be bloated from too much salt or sugar but it's 100% water retention don't be afraid of it move on and sweat it out.6. Do you stay on a cardio machine for 45-60minutes long? (lord help you!) Don't F up your metabolism. If it's your cardio day and you choose to do this then fine OR if you are on the range of obesity then yes I would recommend more cardio than the average healthy individual and when I say average I mean you exercise daily and don't get to look stage shredded there's no need for it if that's not your life long goal. Remember too that too much cardio makes you extremely hungry therefore be prepared to have strong willpower when you know you shouldn't be eating that much.


7. Do you have trouble sleeping at night? or staying asleep? do you wake up in the middle of the night for no reason? This is due to high cortisol levels or high stress it may or may not be exercise related BUT if you have any of these check yourself its not healthy for you.


8. Do you constantly feel that no matter how well you eat or exercise it's still never enough? I still struggle with this I'm not going to lie everyday I practice happiness with myself and patience with my hyper personality. I always want more more more I've always been this way with just about everything in life, school, work, goals, etc. You have to remember that what your doing now is probably a lot better than what you were doing in the past, be proud of that be happy that your healthy and alive and capable of even do half of what you do. Set a small goal, reach it, and pat yourself on the back and do it all over again!


9. Do you think staying 100% away from carbs is the answer to your diet problems? I promise you carbs do not make you fat, you eating too much food more than you should is making you fat. I promise. Yes the quality of carb means so much therefore make better food choices everyday. Low carb is not always the answer you binge eating out on the weekends needs to stop.

10. Do you feel guilty when you over eat on even your clean foods? an extra piece of chicken or broccoli isn't going to kill every once in a while remember its your total calories in a period of time not just one meal. If you notice that your meals are not satisfying you. I highly recommend reducing how many meals you eat per day. For example for me the average 6 meals per day does not work because because I like to feel full therefore I cut mine down to 4-5 meals per day yes that means my protein, fat, and carb portions are bigger but at the end of the day I'm still eating what I would at 6 meals per day it made no difference.























Figure out what works for you, the fit and healthy life should never be a burden enjoy it and be grateful. Summers right around the corner if you need personal training or nutrition advice email me I'm more than happy to help! Let me help you find your balance. xoxo

Quest Nutrition at The Vitamin Shoppe Brea, CA

I will be at The Vitamin Shoppe in Brea on Saturday 4/27/13 from 11am-2pm. Come get free sample bars and enjoy other free samples from other vendors! Come pick my brain with any questions you may have. I'm looking forward to meeting you!

Take It From Me

I KNOW!I KNOW! I OWE YOU GUYS SO MANY BLOG POST! I recently got a private message from a follower that said they wished I would write more and would love to see more from me, as in more recipes, training styles, diet. I promise I've meant too I really have. My main issue right now is I don't have a home computer & there's no wireless in my house so I can't use my laptop either. It's been really difficult for me to get on the Internet, my smart phone only does so much, I hate it.

Thank you for being patient with me, I love you guys!

Moving on...I want to share where I'm at now and I really want to share with the phases I've gone through, I think you can learn something from this so you don't run into what I did.

I've gone through phases and ever since I've started Pay Fitness Forward, I've learned a lot, and what I mean by a lot...I mean balance. Although, it might sound quite simple that word; balance. It's actually a powerful word/meaning. Parents? how many times have you wished to be able to balance spending time with your husband/wife alone all while having the chores done, food cooked, and exercise out of the way? Or to the students wouldn't it be nice to have all your studies done, so you could hang out with friends and family? It's REALLY hard to balance it all out sometimes. Therefore we end up choosing one thing over the other or somethings get more attention that they really should. That's what I did.

If you say yes to any of these you need to re-think what being healthy and being fit for life really means to you:

1. Do you not go out to eat with friends and family because you are afraid there won't be any options for you (or you've checked the menu prior and know there aren't any)?

2. Do you carry a Tupperware with a full on meal in your bag or car anytime you go somewhere because your so afraid you will be left hungry or no options to food for you 'diet'

3. Do you train more than 2 hours per day thinking it will get you results sooner?

4. Do you eat bad, feel guilty, then over exercise to make up for it?

5. Do you feel eating one bad meal makes you fat overnight?

6. Do you stay on a cardio machine for 45-60minutes long? (lord help you!)

7. Do you have trouble sleeping at night? or staying asleep? do you wake up in the middle of the night for no reason?

8. Do you constantly feel that no matter how well you eat or exercise it's still never enough?

9. Do you think staying 100% away from carbs is the answer to your diet problems?

10. Do you feel guilty when you over eat on even your clean foods?

If you say YES to any of these something NEEDS to be fixed you can't live your life like this I promise you, you will fail. I want to help you. Don't be slave to the fit life make if work for you after all it's supposed to be healthy.

 Here's my most recent progress, don't mind the flexing in the pajamas.

Health and Fitness Knowledge

I wanted to share this straight from my phone. I have this list in my notes. It's useful information that I've been gathering up. What I do is when I read something that I learned or could use for myself I save it in my notes and I literally have it listed this way. My list will continue. I look back on these notes when I feel I'm not progressing or when I don't remember what I should be doing in order to progress...below is a lot of what I live by. Feel free to take what you need and leave what you don't.

1. Female max muscle gain per year 5-10lbs
2. Nutrient timing: 1.2-1.5g carbs/kg/lbm. and 0.3-0.5g protein/kg/lbm
3. Pwo: 10g EAA, 15g BCAA
4. low glycemic carbs Pwo
5. Low/high glycemic carbs pwo
6. Glycemic index- ranking of carbs on a scale of 0-100 based on how they raise blood sugar levels. Low GI means slow digestion/absorption
7. Greater than 55 is high GI, less than 55 is low GI
8. A treat meal once every 10-14 days
9. Ez bars weigh 20-25#
10. 70 yards=64 lunges,50 yards=56 lunges,100 yards=112 lunges,400 yard=football field & back,1 track lap=440 yards,1/2 track lap=220 yards
11. The body aches from too much sugar is the liver trying to remove the toxins from the blood, this is not healthy
12. Cardio is best Pwo or separate from training
13. A fatter body doesn't do well on insulin spikes
14. If you are already lean it is easier to maintain a lean physique year round on a high fat/high protein/low carb diet
15. Muscles made of 75% water
16. 200 to 300mg of EPA and 150 to 200mg of DHA per day
17. Pull-downs build wide lats, Rows build thickness/density, Close-grip rows work the muscles closest to spine, Wide-grip rows target the outer back/ lats
18. Protein BW x 0.25
19. HIIT cardio is best for muscle preserve, steady state longer cardio 45min 4-5x/week helps shed fat quicker (but sucks!)
20. EAA: all 8 amino acids
21. BCAA: 3/8 amino acids leucine, isoleucine, valine
22. Liquid protein is ideal post workout
23. Carbs are not an essential part of post workout nutrition if goal is both fat loss & muscle building
24. High volume training + less cardio + more food= gain muscle
25. High volume training: high number of sets, training for longer period of time
26. It is better to have protein intake spaced out over meals
27. Trying to lose fat training or bodies ability to burn fat training in a carb depleted state is good
28. Protein & carbs post workout and the next meal after is ideal
29. Give yourself a 2 day rest between HIIT sessions
30. Water intake 0.6 to 0.7 ounces per lb if body weight

Foods That Will Save Your Diet

There are a lot of great food substitutions out there that can be extremely helpful to your overall diet and lifestyle. I've tried many because I enjoy baking and sometimes food substitutions helps with bringing up flavor without bringing up the calories. These I have found to be the best!

I know some of you may not agree with some of the items I'm about to list due to the fact that it may not be 'clean; by contain somethings like sucralose, splenda, artificial sweetener, too much salt, blah blah blah. Well let me just remind you that neither is your weekend binge eating this is just what works for me :)

If you remember I had made a post about eliminating all artificial sweeteners, splenda, etc. for at least 30 days. It was really hard, I'm not going to lie. However, it made me realize how much I depended on my artificial sweets but when I cut back drastically it also made me realize I didn't really need them. With that said, since I've added them back I just make sure I don't overdue it and I use them sparingly to help me increase flavor in my foods.

Walden Farms: Pancake Syrup
* This syrup is so universal, I put it on top my pancakes, on my kabocha squash, in my greek yogurt, on my pumpkin, and somtimes my eggs, don't judge me!

Chocoperfection: Dark Chocolate Bar
* This chocolate bar is amazing! When I'm not eating 100% chocolate, I eat this stuff, I can't believe I found this product the taste is fantastic & check out the ingredients: Dry Cocoa Solids: 60%, Oligofructose, Erythritol, Cocoa Butter, Butter Oil, Soy Lecithin, Vanilla Extract. (Oligofructose is a prebiotic fiber.)

PB2: Powdered Peanut Butter
* This stuff is pretty good. I like using it on top of my protien muffins, or my kabocha squash. It's great for extreme peanut butter lovers and it has 85% less fat. Good tip is to use one serving of this plus 1tb of regular peanut butter it gives you a bigger serving for less calories.

Dixie Diner: Carb Counters Instant Pudding
*I love this pudding because I can add a scoop of protein powder and it feels like a real treat.

Sensato: Chocolate Chips, Sugar Free Chocolate Chips
* I add these sugar free chocolate chips to baked goods you can't tell the difference

Julians Bakery: any low carb bread
* Sometimes you just want a damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich! but that requires bread!

Nature's Hollow: Sugar Free Preserves
* I like that I found a sugar free preserves that is not sweetened with sucralose, splenda, etc.


To make your shopping easier here are the links to buy these items:
http://www.netrition.com/
http://www.julianbakery.com/
http://www.chocoperfection.com/